I'll Remember
by Kurt's Anatomy
Summary: "I'll remember the love that you gave me, now that I'm standing on my own." Rachel visits Finn's grave and makes sure that he knows how much he inspired people.


I'll Remember

"**I'll remember the love that you gave me, now that I'm standing on my own." Rachel thinks about Finn and how he changed her as a person**.

* * *

Rachel tightened the grip of her coat around her, praying for the strength to keep on walking forward. To totter past the frosty gates and ignore the chirpy Christmas spirit that had befallen Lima and focus on the memory of her Finn.

Walking past rows and rows of gravestones, Rachel finally found the one that she was looking for.

_Finn Christopher Hudson (1994-2013)_

_A loving son, brother, friend and boyfriend. _

"_If you aim for the stars, you'll become one." _

Rachel smiled as she recognised the quote at the bottom. He had said it to her, once upon a time, when they were dating and she was flapping about not getting into NYADA. That had been so long ago. What Rachel wouldn't give to have even some of that time back with Finn was not much.

"Hey, you." Rachel spoke, kneeling sitting down in the spot by the pathway that had not been affected by the snow. Maybe the caretakers had cleared a spot by every grave for loved ones to sit down. She thanked whoever had done it because this was something she really needed.

"I know I haven't visited in a while, but I've been meaning to. I guess saying that I was busy would be the worst excuse that I could give. It's the truth, though. I've thought about you every day that I was in LA wishing that you were there with me," Rachel paused to wipe several tears from her pale face. "I remember in senior year when I was begging you to go to New York and find your dream, but you were thinking about going to LA with Puck and his pool cleaning business. It's kind of ironic that I ended up there. I always thought that my home was in New York, but I guess my home was wherever you were. It's strange talking about you in the past tense. You know, sometimes, I slip up and I say 'are' and 'does' when I'm talking about you." Rachel smiled shortly at that, using her glove again to dry her tears. She wasn't sobbing, because she did not have the energy to, but she was trying to hold everything back but the occasional tear would drip down her face and blow her cover of being well put together.

"Speaking of Puck, he's in the army now. Yeah, he wanted to finish what you started and make sure that your legacy lived on through him. He was worried that since you weren't there to advise him about to what to do that he would be lost. He's back with Quinn now. They're really happy. They see Beth from time to time, when they can. Everybody else is doing great. I know that Kurt comes here every week and changes the flowers to a more suitable arrangement, and I know that he talks to you too. He and Blaine are getting married which is so great and I'm really happy for them. Kurt graduated from NYADA as well, which is so, so good and I'm really proud of him. Tina's doing well at Brown, she fell in love with another gay guy, can you believe it? Her dating record isn't the straight after Mike. He's doing well, too. He's doing dance auditions across the country and he's Mercedes' lead choreographer for her music videos. It's great that she's making albums, isn't it? She always wanted to and she got there. Everyone's finding their dreams and I'm just feeling really lost because I need you to tell me what to do.

"You make me better, Finn. I was at my best when I was with you. Your optimism and enthusiasm really calmed me more high-maintenance side. You gave me direction. You cheered me on with whatever I wanted to do. I remember you being there with the stopwatch before my NYADA audition. You were so supportive of me and that really spurred me on to do it. I did it, Finn. I had my moments on Broadway. You were up there with me. You live on through us all, everyone in the New Directions. Everyone carries some little part of you in their hearts because you inspired us all in different ways. You made Kurt feel accepted by everyone as he said in the choir room just before graduation. You made Blaine feel like he belonged in the New Directions and he's carried your words with him to New York. Puck even graduated college before he went off to the army. Puck, I know right. With your help, he graduated high school and college and he never thought he could do. You bring out the best in people, Finn.

"Not a day goes by where I stop loving you. The longer it's been, the more I love you. I got a tattoo that says your name and every night I look at your star that you got me for Christmas in senior year. Finn Hudson. You are a star, Finn. You were when you were alive and you still are now. Nobody will ever forget you. You'll live on in memories and our successes. You're immortal."

Rachel took a single red rose out of her bag and stroked up and down it, avoiding the thorn.

"This reminds me of what you said at Will and Emma's first wedding. You said that relationships were a lot like flowers. I didn't get that then, but I do know. This rose is beautiful and symbolic and powerful. Like our relationship. We were happy with each other. We made each other stronger and better. Just know that I will never stop loving you. Not ever. You'll always be my soulmate and my man. I know you would want me to move on, but I don't know if I can. Nobody is going to be better for me than you. You'll always be in my heart, Finn. I love you so much." Rachel placed the rose adjacent to Kurt's small, subtle bunch of flowers and stood up, smiling sadly at the gravestone and reading the words again.

_If you aim for the stars, you'll become one_.

* * *

**Author's Note: I wrote this a while back but never posted it because I was too scared because I didn't want to ruin this lovely scenario. I've tweaked it but I'm going to post it now because it meets what I hoped a true scene like this would be. If you disagree, then fine, write one yourself, but to me, this is what Finn and Rachel were about. Making each other better people. Finn touched the hearts of all the characters and I wanted to show that through Rachel and a little bit of Kurt. This is partly inspired by the song _I'll Remember_ by** **_Madonna_ from the album _Something To Remember_. This is dedicated to Cory Monteith, I miss you, Cory. **


End file.
